What is true love?

Are you in love or just infatuation? Adolescents nowadays are different than before, they don't even consider if they are really in love or just an infatuation.  They just wake up one day that they don't love their girlfriend or boyfriend anymore.  The sad thing was they already have love child that will suffer the failure of their unsure love.  That's the reason why there are many single mothers out there. 

What is really true love?  Is being attracted to opposite sex already love or just infatuation?  Let me define infatuation from the dictionary, Infatuation means an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone,  or can be defined as people thinking they are in love but when indeed it is just a lust or like for another person.  What about love? Love is also an intense feeling or deep affection to someone. It is really very hard to distinguish between the two because both are intense feelings which we don't know when to last.

So what are the things that adolescents should do to determine true love?

- Long courtship.  Long courtship will enable both the man and woman to know each other, if they can endure the bad attitudes of their partner and can adjust, then they have future together.  If they don't, their relationship will not last forever.  But not long courtship will lead to successful couple, sometimes they hide their true colors in courting years.  Just be true to who you are, don't hide something so you can decide if you will pursue to marrying your partner or not.  The best thing is to communicate each other, tell your partner to be honest of who they are.  In the first place its your future that is being consider.

-Examine your feelings.  You have to examine your feelings when you are together and away.  Do you miss your girlfriend or boyfriend while away or just okay even without them?  Can you leave without them or not?  While you are together, do you enjoy your company, or you wanted him/her to go home as soon as possible.  If you are in the affirmative side that's an indication of true love.

-Know if he/she loves you because he/she needs you or he/she needs you because he/she loves you.  Do you love your girlfriend because she can teach you your assignment?  Do you love your boyfriend because you are always free with snacks? What about if your girlfriend will no longer teach you your assignment or your boyfriend can no longer free you from snacks? Is love still there without those things which you are expecting to be given to you by your partner?  Now from there you can already conclude if your love is really true love.  

I just would like you to know teenagers that indulging into a relationship is not just a joke.  Both have their responsibilities to give.  Once you cannot give the best to your partner then don't go into  a relationship, you are just hurting someone. The most successful tool in a relationship is TRUST. 

How to Build Trust?

Are you not wondering, why your parents, friends, co-workers and people surrounding you, don't trust you?  Have you not examine yourself? Are you telling the truth to them or are you hiding something from them?  What are we going to do in order that people surrounding us or our love ones will trust us?  

Let me sight one of my collections of inspirational quote:

"If you wanted to be Trusted,

Be Honest.

If you wanted to be Honest,

Be true.

If you wanted to be True,

Be yourself."

So whats the secret of gaining trust? It is just being honest in everything that you do, no matter how small or big the task given to you or something.

A parent will not hesitate to give money to his daughter or son if he trust the child.  If you told your parents that the money is for your tuition fee, it should be intended for that matter.  Transparency between parents and children is also very important so that trust can be built. Not only about money which we should consider, including deeds and actions.  Don't lie to your parents about your girlfriend or boyfriend, we have to be open to our parents especially on that matter.  The more you hide the more they will get angry and will not trust you.  

For husband and wife or in a relationship, it is not only about money that they should be honest about.  We should be true to our feelings, we should not do actions that we will regret later on or will result in distrusting us.  It is very difficult to regain again trust.  Don't play the emotions of your partner, don't tell them that you love them if you don't, tell the truth.  Once they find out your true feelings, your partner will be hurt, and this will lead to distrust.  In the first place, you should not court a girl whom you don't love. Don't play emotions, that's the most difficult to handle.  Sometimes our values, attitudes and self-esteem is affected because of this.  

Even in an organization or work, we can only build trust if we are doing the right thing. How could your boss trust you if you are always lying to him about your being late, being absent and not doing your job well.  If you have a problem which is the cause of your failure in functioning your task, tell them the truth.  Your boss will understand you, and may even help you to solve your problem.  

So what the secret of building trust? It is only by being honest.  Although it is very difficult to be honest.  Once you practice everyday and leave with it, it is no more difficult. And you will notice that you will become happier than before.  

How to Inspire Oneself Despite Problems

I am a person who encounter problems all the time, but it does not put me to lose hope.  Problems for me are created  in order for someone to become stronger in the future.  Why did I say that, simply because i experience that myself.  But it depends on your personality, because if you will face the problem in an opposite way, the result can be reversed.  There is a saying that "Problems can make or unmake you."  Do you believe in that saying?  Well, for me i really believe in that saying, because it depend on you to decide what tract will you follow, to be stronger despite problems? or to give up?

In my observation, people who have high self esteem tend to make problems as their way to become more stronger despite the difficulties they encountered, no matter how easy or difficult that problem, they have to strive more to become more successful, but people who have  lower self esteem tend to revenge.

How will we inspire ourselves when we are in problematic situation? Is it possible?  First, think that God has another plan for you.  Example when you are not promoted to a higher position because your boss selected somebody else for the promotion, just think that God has plan for you more than that promotion.  Even if you already tried your very best but still in the second time around still don't work.  Still you don't have to lose hope an give up. You still to strive more. Why did I say that? Because I am also a victim of that situation, but I don't give up.

Second, think about your family, your children, your parents they still love you.  In the lowest point in your life they will help you, just ask their help.  Especially parents, they don't want to see their children to suffer pain.  No matter how hard headed you are, parents can feel the pain too.  They have to ease the pain by comforting you, just don't lie on the true situation.

Third, focus on the positive side not the negative side.  Always think that it is just a matter of testing your capabilities, attitudes, strengths and weaknesses.  Focus on your strengths, try to improve your weaknesses.  Be positive all the time.  Believe that there is law that govern positive thinking, it is the "law of attraction."  Once you think positive, all the positive will be attracted to you.

Fourth, think that in every difficulties there is always goodness that awaits you.  Our problem usually is, we did not recognize the goodness that comes to our life, we tend to focus on the problems.  Let us be contented of the little success that we achieved.

Lastly, believe in yourself.  No matter how difficult is the situation still we have the capabilities to solve the situation, because God will not give us problems which we can't solve.  God is the one who knows us, HE knows what is best for us.